Grief is one of those experiences that reshapes you in ways you don’t fully understand until you’re living
through it. In my practice, I often support people through the heaviest moments of their lives. But my
understanding of grief didn’t begin in my office, it began with the loss of my own parents.

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When they passed away, I was given five days off work. Five days to “grieve,” to fall apart, to put myself back together, and to return to being functional. At the end of those five days, I remember thinking, Am I supposed to be okay now? Returning to work felt like stepping into a world that had stayed the same while mine had completely changed. I was offered a private office where I could “go cry if I needed.” As if crying is something I could plan on my lunch break. As if grief could be scheduled. Grief does not follow a schedule. It doesn’t fit neatly into policies or workplace expectations.

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​​It shows up when it wants, unexpected, uninvited, and unapologetic.

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One of the biggest things I noticed during that time was how uncomfortable people were talking about death. They weren’t unkind. They weren’t uncaring. They were simply unsure. Unsure of what to say. Unsure of how to acknowledge my pain. Unsure of how to sit in a moment where nothing feels “fixable.” But silence doesn’t protect us. It only isolates the person who is hurting.

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I often describe grief as a stone in your pocket. In the beginning, it’s impossibly heavy. Every movement hurts. You’re aware of it constantly. With time, the stone doesn’t disappear, but it becomes lighter, you learn to carry it, you adjust, you grow around it. You might even forget it’s there some days… until something reminds you, and you feel its weight again.

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That’s normal.
That’s human.
That’s grief.​

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Many people don’t realize that grief extends far beyond the loss of life. Grief can come from:
 

• the end of a relationship
• losing a job or career
• a friendship changing
• a major life transition
• a dream you had to let go of
• the loss of stability, identity, or purpose

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Loss has many forms, and all of them deserve to be acknowledged.​

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​If you’re grieving right now, whether it’s a person, a relationship, a chapter of life, you are not “too
emotional,” “too sensitive,” or “taking too long.” Grief is not a weakness. It is a reflection of love,
attachment, meaning, and change.
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You don’t have to rush your way back to “normal.”
You don’t have to pretend you're fine.
You don’t have to schedule your tears or hide your sadness.
You are allowed to take up space with your grief.

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​​Lisa Berardo​

Your Wellness Counselling

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